Ep.232 – Dr. Jennifer Dragonette – The Price and Pressure to Create Perfect Memories
What happens when the opportunities we give our kids become the pressure we put on ourselves?
Dr. Jennifer Dragonette, our resident therapist expert, is back with us to dig into the gap between what we want for our families and what our families actually want. It started with a cruise my triplets didn't enjoy, a conversation with another dad at a basketball game, and an NHL hockey player from our local high school who was the star goalie in the recent winter Olympics.
Our conversation focuses on the instinct to provide our kids with opportunities we never had, and how that instinct can quietly turn into pressure on everyone, especially parents. Dr. Jen shares her own stories of loosening the reins on family adventures and learning to ask rather than guess what her kids want.
We explore why teenagers pulling away is developmentally normal, why honest answers from our kids are an act of trust, and how reframing our goal from raising teenagers to raising adults changes everything.
If you've ever spent money on a vacation and wondered why no one seemed grateful, or felt the weight of the countdown to when your kids leave home, this one's for you. Try asking your kids one question this week: "What would feel really good to you?" And then actually listen.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES YOU MAY LIKE
1 Big Idea to Think About
The opportunities we give our kids often become the pressure we put on ourselves. When we stop guessing what they want and start asking, everyone breathes a little easier.
1 Way You Can Apply This
Before planning the next family trip or activity, ask your kids directly: “What would feel really good to you?” Then build from their answer instead of your assumption.
1 Question to Ask
If I couldn’t post it on social media or tell anyone about it, what would I actually want to do with my family?
Resources Featured in This Episode:
You Can Always Make More Money
Why Families Should Stop Waiting for the “Perfect” Time to Travel