Ep. 219 – Paul Fenner – Money is a Number, Emotions are Stories
I'm wrestling with a question that's been on my mind lately: Have we given money a job it simply can't do?
There is a complicated relationship between money and our emotions, and how we sometimes hope numbers and bank balances will take away our fear or anxiety, even though those are emotions, not equations.
Inspired by Carl Richards' book "Your Money," I talk about how our financial lives and our feelings are tangled together, especially for those of us in the thick of parenting, where there's never really an "off season." With insights from thought leaders like Morgan Housel, I explore the challenge of defining your goals and finding what "enough" really means, even as the goalposts keep moving.
If you've ever wondered why having more money doesn't quite silence your worries or how your money beliefs shape your life, you're not alone.
Connect with Paul
Contact Paul here or schedule a time to meet with Paul here.
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And feel free to email Paul at pfenner@tammacapital.com with any feedback, questions, or ideas for future guests and topics.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES YOU MAY LIKE
1 Big Idea to Think About
Money, as just a number, can’t solve emotional needs like fear or anxiety. Finding your sense of "enough" comes more from understanding your personal story and purpose than simply chasing a higher financial goal.
1 Way You Can Apply This
To find greater satisfaction in your financial life, take time to define what "enough" means for you and your family, recognizing that money is only a number. At the same time, your sense of well-being comes from the stories and purposes you create around it. By focusing on your personal vision and objectives rather than constantly chasing moving goalposts, you can align your finances with your purposes, making both your planning and your daily life more fulfilling.
1 Question to Ask
Am I expecting money, a number, to solve emotions like fear or anxiety that it can't actually fix?
Key Moments From the Show
00:01 Wrestling with the question: Have we given money a job it can't do? Can money truly remove anxiety or fear?
01:09 Money is a number, but anxiety and fear are emotions. Trying to solve emotions with numbers doesn’t work.
02:09 Carl Richards’ book inspires thoughts about money and emotion—sketches explain their intersection.
03:07 Podcast title “Emotional Balance Sheet” as a play on financial balance sheet and emotional life.
03:47 Chasing money as a destination means the goalpost always moves; happiness isn’t found in reaching a number.
04:31 Families struggle to define purpose and objectives while supporting their vision with money, especially during busy life stages.
05:23 Parenting has no off-season; it’s a full-contact, year-round commitment, making it hard to reflect on purpose and financial objectives.
06:02 “Money is a number. Enough is a story.” The stories we tell ourselves shape our view of what’s enough.
06:47 Purpose rarely changes but objectives often do; keeping the goalpost from moving is nearly impossible, but finding what “enough” is can make life more enjoyable.
Resources Featured in This Episode:
Just Wait: Fuel for Financial and Emotional Anxiety
Understanding and Managing Anxiety: Practical Steps for a Balanced Life
Building Healthy Habits: Overcoming Fear and Anxiety Through Tiny Changes