Ep.235 – Paul Fenner – The Questions We Forget to Ask Ourselves
How much of what you believe about money, success, and parenting is actually true, and how much is just where and when you happened to grow up?
This week's episode digs into the uncomfortable questions we rarely ask ourselves about our own blind spots, and gives you a practical filter to sort values worth protecting from scripts worth questioning.
I share stories about the gap between what we think we know and what we've actually experienced. From parents struggling to accept their kids' different paths to the life transitions that revealed how little we understood, this episode is about getting honest with ourselves without getting paralyzed by second-guessing.
This week, when you feel a strong "should" about money or your kids, ask yourself: is this my value, or someone else's script? Use the "says who?" test to check whether your certainty is based on what actually matters to your family, or on something you inherited without realizing it.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES YOU MAY LIKE
1 Big Idea to Think About
There's a difference between values and scripts. Values are yours and worth protecting. Scripts are inherited instructions about how to achieve those values, and they're worth questioning when they no longer fit your life.
1 Way You Can Apply This
Use the "says who?" test. When you feel strongly that something should be a certain way, ask yourself where that belief came from. If it's rooted in your actual values, trust it. If it's an inherited script, give yourself permission to write a different one.
1 Question to Ask
When I feel resistance to my kids' choices or to my own financial decisions, am I protecting a value that matters to me, or am I defending a script I never chose?
Resources Featured in This Episode:
Not All Struggles Are Due to Laziness
Why "Just Waiting" Is Holding You Back in Life and Finance