Ep.235 – Paul Fenner – The Questions We Forget to Ask Ourselves Podcast Apr 23 Written By Paul Fenner <div class="video-caption-wrapper"><div class="video-caption"><p class="" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p></div></div></div></div><div class="sqs-block website-component-block sqs-block-website-component sqs-block-html html-block" data-block-css="["https://definitions.sqspcdn.com/website-component-definition/static-assets/website.components.html/ad3e90ad-1a7c-4c71-9e99-02bd4875790f_471/website.components.html.styles.css"]" data-block-scripts="["https://definitions.sqspcdn.com/website-component-definition/static-assets/website.components.html/ad3e90ad-1a7c-4c71-9e99-02bd4875790f_471/website.components.html.visitor.js"]" data-block-type="1337" data-definition-name="website.components.html" data-sqsp-block="text" data-website-component-id="92a671f16f7508e3d962" id="block-92a671f16f7508e3d962"><div class="sqs-block-content"><div class="sqs-text-block-container"> <div class="sqs-html-content" data-sqsp-text-block-content><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">How much of what you believe about money, success, and parenting is actually true, and how much is just where and when you happened to grow up?</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">This week's episode digs into the uncomfortable questions we rarely ask ourselves about our own blind spots, and gives you a practical filter to sort values worth protecting from scripts worth questioning.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">I share stories about the gap between what we think we know and what we've actually experienced. From parents struggling to accept their kids' different paths to the life transitions that revealed how little we understood, this episode is about getting honest with ourselves without getting paralyzed by second-guessing.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">This week, when you feel a strong "should" about money or your kids, ask yourself: is this my value, or someone else's script? Use the "says who?" test to check whether your certainty is based on what actually matters to your family, or on something you inherited without realizing it.</p><h3 style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true"><strong>ADDITIONAL RESOURCES YOU MAY LIKE</strong></h3></div> <style id="container-styles">#block-92a671f16f7508e3d962 { --tweak-text-block-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; --tweak-text-block-radius: unset; --stroke-style: none;--stroke-thickness: 6px; --tweak-text-block-background-color: initial; } #block-92a671f16f7508e3d962 .sqs-html-content { --tweak-text-block-padding: 6% 6% 6% 6%; --tweak-text-block-padding: initial; } #block-92a671f16f7508e3d962 { mix-blend-mode: var(--tweak-text-block-blend ); } #block-92a671f16f7508e3d962 { } </style> <style id="override-container-styles"> @media screen and (max-width: 767px) { #block-92a671f16f7508e3d962 { } } @media screen and (max-width: 767px) { #block-92a671f16f7508e3d962 .sqs-html-content { } } @media screen and 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class="summary-header-text">Featured</span> </div> <div class="summary-carousel-pager sqs-gallery-controls" data-animation-role="content"> <span class="summary-carousel-pager-prev previous" tabindex="0" role="button" aria-label="Previous" ></span> <span class="summary-carousel-pager-next next" tabindex="0" role="button" aria-label="Next" ></span> </div> </header> <div class="summary-item-list sqs-gallery"> <div class=" summary-item summary-item-record-type-text sqs-gallery-design-list-slide summary-item-has-thumbnail summary-item-has-excerpt summary-item-has-author " > <div class="summary-thumbnail-outer-container"> <a href="/blog/the-questions-we-forget-to-ask-ourselves" class=" summary-thumbnail-container sqs-gallery-image-container " data-title="The Questions We Forget to Ask Ourselves" data-description="" > <div class="summary-thumbnail img-wrapper" data-animation-role="image"> <!-- Main Image --> <img data-src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/654fc246aba94f2bc8f1413e/1776695492395-7CFCML6ZG32IT0CBAJ7T/Article+Photo.png" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/654fc246aba94f2bc8f1413e/1776695492395-7CFCML6ZG32IT0CBAJ7T/Article+Photo.png" data-image-dimensions="1024x1024" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="The Questions We Forget to Ask Ourselves" data-load="false" class="summary-thumbnail-image" elementtiming="summary-thumbnail-image-list" /> </div> </a> <!-- Products: Quick View --> </div> <div class="summary-content sqs-gallery-meta-container" data-animation-role="content"> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--above-title"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-23">Apr 23, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> <div class="summary-title"> <a href="/blog/the-questions-we-forget-to-ask-ourselves" class="summary-title-link">The Questions We Forget to Ask Ourselves</a></div> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--below-title"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-23">Apr 23, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> <div class=" summary-excerpt summary-excerpt-only "><p style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">There's a difference between values and scripts. Values are yours and worth protecting. Scripts are inherited instructions about how to achieve those values, and they're worth questioning when they no longer fit your life.</p></div> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--below-content"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-23">Apr 23, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class=" summary-item summary-item-record-type-text sqs-gallery-design-list-slide summary-item-has-thumbnail summary-item-has-excerpt summary-item-has-author " > <div class="summary-thumbnail-outer-container"> <a href="/blog/when-giving-your-kids-opportunities-becomes-giving-yourself-pressure" class=" summary-thumbnail-container sqs-gallery-image-container " data-title="When Giving Your Kids Opportunities Becomes Giving Yourself Pressure" data-description="" > <div class="summary-thumbnail img-wrapper" data-animation-role="image"> <!-- Main Image --> <img data-src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/654fc246aba94f2bc8f1413e/1776093315346-V5M89MDPSOZLXLQT67IJ/Connor.jpg" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/654fc246aba94f2bc8f1413e/1776093315346-V5M89MDPSOZLXLQT67IJ/Connor.jpg" data-image-dimensions="590x443" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="When Giving Your Kids Opportunities Becomes Giving Yourself Pressure" data-load="false" class="summary-thumbnail-image" elementtiming="summary-thumbnail-image-list" /> </div> </a> <!-- Products: Quick View --> </div> <div class="summary-content sqs-gallery-meta-container" data-animation-role="content"> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--above-title"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-13">Apr 13, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> <div class="summary-title"> <a href="/blog/when-giving-your-kids-opportunities-becomes-giving-yourself-pressure" class="summary-title-link">When Giving Your Kids Opportunities Becomes Giving Yourself Pressure</a></div> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--below-title"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-13">Apr 13, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> <div class=" summary-excerpt summary-excerpt-only "><p style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">The opportunities we give our kids often become the pressure we put on ourselves. When we stop guessing what they want and start asking, everyone breathes a little easier.</p></div> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--below-content"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-13">Apr 13, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class=" summary-item summary-item-record-type-text sqs-gallery-design-list-slide summary-item-has-thumbnail summary-item-has-excerpt summary-item-has-author " > <div class="summary-thumbnail-outer-container"> <a href="/blog/can-we-really-do-that" class=" summary-thumbnail-container sqs-gallery-image-container " data-title="Can We Really Do That?" data-description="" > <div class="summary-thumbnail img-wrapper" data-animation-role="image"> <!-- Main Image --> <img data-src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/654fc246aba94f2bc8f1413e/1775487210047-5XJWH53OC6GBNJVPY66D/Article+Photo.png" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/654fc246aba94f2bc8f1413e/1775487210047-5XJWH53OC6GBNJVPY66D/Article+Photo.png" data-image-dimensions="1408x768" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="Can We Really Do That?" data-load="false" class="summary-thumbnail-image" elementtiming="summary-thumbnail-image-list" /> </div> </a> <!-- Products: Quick View --> </div> <div class="summary-content sqs-gallery-meta-container" data-animation-role="content"> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--above-title"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-06">Apr 6, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> <div class="summary-title"> <a href="/blog/can-we-really-do-that" class="summary-title-link">Can We Really Do That?</a></div> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--below-title"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-06">Apr 6, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> <div class=" summary-excerpt summary-excerpt-only "><p style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">Most families collapse into either saving everything (and being miserable) or spending everything (and being fragile). Real financial security requires holding both tension simultaneously: saving like a pessimist while investing like an optimist.</p></div> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--below-content"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-06">Apr 6, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div></div><div class="col sqs-col-5 span-5"><div class="sqs-block website-component-block sqs-block-website-component sqs-block-html html-block" data-block-css="["https://definitions.sqspcdn.com/website-component-definition/static-assets/website.components.html/ad3e90ad-1a7c-4c71-9e99-02bd4875790f_471/website.components.html.styles.css"]" data-block-scripts="["https://definitions.sqspcdn.com/website-component-definition/static-assets/website.components.html/ad3e90ad-1a7c-4c71-9e99-02bd4875790f_471/website.components.html.visitor.js"]" data-block-type="1337" data-definition-name="website.components.html" data-sqsp-block="text" data-website-component-id="a38a8c6c3b4f738b7eff" id="block-a38a8c6c3b4f738b7eff"><div class="sqs-block-content"><div class="sqs-text-block-container"> <div class="sqs-html-content" data-sqsp-text-block-content><h4 style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">1 Big Idea to Think About</h4><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">There's a difference between values and scripts. Values are yours and worth protecting. Scripts are inherited instructions about how to achieve those values, and they're worth questioning when they no longer fit your life.</p></li></ul><h4 style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">1 Way You Can Apply This</h4><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">Use the "says who?" test. When you feel strongly that something should be a certain way, ask yourself where that belief came from. If it's rooted in your actual values, trust it. If it's an inherited script, give yourself permission to write a different one.</p></li></ul><h4 style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">1 Question to Ask</h4><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">When I feel resistance to my kids' choices or to my own financial decisions, am I protecting a value that matters to me, or am I defending a script I never chose?</p></li></ul><h4 style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true"><strong>Resources Featured in This Episode:</strong></h4><p class="MsoNormal" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true"><a href="https://www.tammacapital.com/podcast/ep220-not-all-struggles-are-due-to-laziness">Not All Struggles Are Due to Laziness</a> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true"><a href="https://www.tammacapital.com/podcast/ep224-dr-jennifer-dragonette-why-your-goals-keep-failing">Why Your Goals Keep Failing</a> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true"><a href="https://www.tammacapital.com/blog/why-just-waiting-is-holding-you-back-in-life-and-finance">Why "Just Waiting" Is Holding You Back in Life and Finance</a> </p></div> <style id="container-styles">#block-a38a8c6c3b4f738b7eff { --tweak-text-block-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; --tweak-text-block-radius: unset; --stroke-style: none;--stroke-thickness: 6px; } #block-a38a8c6c3b4f738b7eff .sqs-html-content { --tweak-text-block-padding: 6% 6% 6% 6%; --tweak-text-block-padding: initial; } #block-a38a8c6c3b4f738b7eff { mix-blend-mode: var(--tweak-text-block-blend ); } #block-a38a8c6c3b4f738b7eff { } </style> <style id="override-container-styles"> @media screen and (max-width: 767px) { #block-a38a8c6c3b4f738b7eff { } } @media screen and (max-width: 767px) { #block-a38a8c6c3b4f738b7eff .sqs-html-content { } } @media screen and (max-width: 767px) { }</style> <style class="transform-overrides-vars"> </style> </div> </div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div> <div class="blog-item-author-profile-wrapper" data-content-field="author"> <a href="/podcast?author=6568d8a4109e221f9097c768"> <span class="author-name">Paul Fenner</span> </a> </div> </div> <section class="blog-item-comments"> <div class="blog-item-comments-toggle-wrapper"> <div id="blogItemCommentsContent" class="blog-item-comments-content" data-content-field="comments"> </div> </div> </section> </div> </article> </div> </div> </div> </section> </article> <section id="itemPagination" class="item-pagination item-pagination--prev-next" data-collection-type="blog-side-by-side" > <a href="/podcast/ep234-paul-fenner-pessimism-sounds-smart-optimism-builds-wealth" class="item-pagination-link item-pagination-link--next"> <div class="pagination-title-wrapper"> <div class="visually-hidden">Next</div> <div class="item-pagination-prev-next">Next</div> <h2 class="item-pagination-title">Ep.234 – Pessimism Sounds Smart, Optimism Builds Wealth</h2> </div> <div class="item-pagination-icon icon icon--stroke"> <svg class="caret-right-icon--small" viewBox="0 0 9 16"> <polyline fill="none" stroke-miterlimit="10" points="1.6,1.2 6.5,7.9 1.6,14.7"/> </svg> </div> </a> </section> </main> <footer class="sections" id="footer-sections" data-footer-sections> <section data-test="page-section" data-section-theme="dark" class='page-section full-bleed-section layout-engine-section background-width--full-bleed section-height--custom content-width--wide horizontal-alignment--center vertical-alignment--middle dark' data-section-id="654fc246aba94f2bc8f14169" data-controller="SectionWrapperController" data-current-styles="{ "imageOverlayOpacity": 0.15, "backgroundWidth": "background-width--full-bleed", "sectionHeight": "section-height--custom", "customSectionHeight": 10, "horizontalAlignment": "horizontal-alignment--center", "verticalAlignment": "vertical-alignment--middle", "contentWidth": "content-width--wide", "customContentWidth": 50, "sectionTheme": "dark", "sectionAnimation": "none", "backgroundMode": "image" }" data-current-context="{ "video": { "playbackSpeed": 0.5, "filter": 1, "filterStrength": 0, "zoom": 0, "videoSourceProvider": "none" }, "backgroundImageId": null, "backgroundMediaEffect": { "type": "none" }, "divider": { "enabled": false }, "typeName": "blog-side-by-side" }" data-animation="none" data-fluid-engine-section style="min-height: 10vh;" data-sqsp-section="fluid-engine" > <div class="section-border" > <div class="section-background"> </div> </div> <div class='content-wrapper' style=' padding-top: calc(10vmax / 10); 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border: none; } </style> <nav class="sqs-svg-icon--list"> <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/paulfennercfp" target="_blank" class="sqs-svg-icon--wrapper linkedin-unauth" aria-label="LinkedIn" > <div> <svg class="sqs-svg-icon--social" viewBox="0 0 64 64"> <use class="sqs-use--icon" xlink:href="/universal/svg/social-accounts.svg#linkedin-unauth-icon"></use> <use class="sqs-use--mask" xlink:href="/universal/svg/social-accounts.svg#linkedin-unauth-mask"></use> </svg> </div> </a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqSJ5dv4xnw0y8OG2rr-wBQ/videos" target="_blank" class="sqs-svg-icon--wrapper youtube-unauth" aria-label="YouTube" > <div> <svg class="sqs-svg-icon--social" viewBox="0 0 64 64"> <use class="sqs-use--icon" xlink:href="/universal/svg/social-accounts.svg#youtube-unauth-icon"></use> <use class="sqs-use--mask" xlink:href="/universal/svg/social-accounts.svg#youtube-unauth-mask"></use> </svg> </div> </a> </nav> </div> </div> </div></div></div><div class="fe-block fe-block-yui_3_17_2_1_1701369877630_15198"><div class="sqs-block website-component-block sqs-block-website-component sqs-block-button button-block" data-block-css="["https://definitions.sqspcdn.com/website-component-definition/static-assets/website.components.button/94301ad5-cbb3-4d63-8b5b-972f9d3e6693_641/website.components.button.styles.css"]" data-block-scripts="["https://definitions.sqspcdn.com/website-component-definition/static-assets/website.components.button/94301ad5-cbb3-4d63-8b5b-972f9d3e6693_641/website.components.button.visitor.js"]" data-block-type="1337" data-definition-name="website.components.button" data-sqsp-block="button" data-website-component-id="yui_3_17_2_1_1701369877630_15198" id="block-yui_3_17_2_1_1701369877630_15198"><div class="sqs-block-content"> <div class="sqs-block-button-container sqs-button-block-container-system_desktop sqs-block-button-container--center sqs-stretched" data-animation-role="button" data-button-size="medium" data-button-type="primary" > <a href="/contact" class="sqs-block-button-element--medium sqs-button-element--primary sqs-block-button-element" data-sqsp-button target="_blank" > SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER </a> </div> <div class="sqs-block-button-container sqs-button-block-container-system_mobile sqs-block-button-container--center sqs-stretched" data-animation-role="button" data-button-size="medium" data-button-type="primary" > <a href="/contact" class="sqs-block-button-element--medium sqs-button-element--primary sqs-block-button-element" data-sqsp-button target="_blank" > SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER </a> </div> <style> #block-yui_3_17_2_1_1701369877630_15198 { --sqs-block-content-flex: 1; 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Ep.235 – Paul Fenner – The Questions We Forget to Ask Ourselves Podcast Apr 23 Written By Paul Fenner <div class="video-caption-wrapper"><div class="video-caption"><p class="" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p></div></div></div></div><div class="sqs-block website-component-block sqs-block-website-component sqs-block-html html-block" data-block-css="["https://definitions.sqspcdn.com/website-component-definition/static-assets/website.components.html/ad3e90ad-1a7c-4c71-9e99-02bd4875790f_471/website.components.html.styles.css"]" data-block-scripts="["https://definitions.sqspcdn.com/website-component-definition/static-assets/website.components.html/ad3e90ad-1a7c-4c71-9e99-02bd4875790f_471/website.components.html.visitor.js"]" data-block-type="1337" data-definition-name="website.components.html" data-sqsp-block="text" data-website-component-id="92a671f16f7508e3d962" id="block-92a671f16f7508e3d962"><div class="sqs-block-content"><div class="sqs-text-block-container"> <div class="sqs-html-content" data-sqsp-text-block-content><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">How much of what you believe about money, success, and parenting is actually true, and how much is just where and when you happened to grow up?</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">This week's episode digs into the uncomfortable questions we rarely ask ourselves about our own blind spots, and gives you a practical filter to sort values worth protecting from scripts worth questioning.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">I share stories about the gap between what we think we know and what we've actually experienced. From parents struggling to accept their kids' different paths to the life transitions that revealed how little we understood, this episode is about getting honest with ourselves without getting paralyzed by second-guessing.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">This week, when you feel a strong "should" about money or your kids, ask yourself: is this my value, or someone else's script? Use the "says who?" test to check whether your certainty is based on what actually matters to your family, or on something you inherited without realizing it.</p><h3 style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true"><strong>ADDITIONAL RESOURCES YOU MAY LIKE</strong></h3></div> <style id="container-styles">#block-92a671f16f7508e3d962 { --tweak-text-block-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; --tweak-text-block-radius: unset; --stroke-style: none;--stroke-thickness: 6px; --tweak-text-block-background-color: initial; } #block-92a671f16f7508e3d962 .sqs-html-content { --tweak-text-block-padding: 6% 6% 6% 6%; --tweak-text-block-padding: initial; } #block-92a671f16f7508e3d962 { mix-blend-mode: var(--tweak-text-block-blend ); } #block-92a671f16f7508e3d962 { } </style> <style id="override-container-styles"> @media screen and (max-width: 767px) { #block-92a671f16f7508e3d962 { } } @media screen and (max-width: 767px) { #block-92a671f16f7508e3d962 .sqs-html-content { } } @media screen and (max-width: 767px) { }</style> <style class="transform-overrides-vars"> </style> </div> </div></div><div class="sqs-block summary-v2-block sqs-block-summary-v2" data-block-json="{"collectionId":"655014325d4aba2491dcd728","design":"list","headerText":"Featured","textSize":"medium","pageSize":3,"imageAspectRatio":"1.5","columnWidth":270,"gutter":60,"listImageSize":30,"listImageAlignment":"left","slidesPerRow":3,"textAlignment":"left","showTitle":true,"showThumbnail":true,"showExcerpt":true,"showReadMoreLink":false,"showPrice":true,"productQuickViewEnabled":false,"showPastOrUpcomingEvents":"upcoming","metadataPosition":"below-content","primaryMetadata":"date","secondaryMetadata":"none","filter":{"tag":null,"category":null},"autoCrop":true,"lightbox":false,"mixedContent":true,"blockId":"cebbd8aee6a0c8fe932b"}" data-block-type="55" data-border-radii="{"topLeft":{"unit":"px","value":0.0},"topRight":{"unit":"px","value":0.0},"bottomLeft":{"unit":"px","value":0.0},"bottomRight":{"unit":"px","value":0.0}}" data-sqsp-block="summary" id="block-64665bc4ee94904793e0"><div class="sqs-block-content"> <div class=" summary-block-wrapper summary-block-collection-type-blog-basic-grid summary-block-setting-text-size-medium summary-block-setting-text-align-left summary-block-setting-design-list summary-block-setting-design-list-thumbnail-left summary-block-setting-metadata-position-below-content summary-block-setting-primary-metadata-date summary-block-setting-secondary-metadata-none summary-block-setting-show-thumbnail summary-block-setting-show-title summary-block-setting-show-price summary-block-setting-show-excerpt sqs-gallery-design-list " > <div class="summary-item-list-container sqs-gallery-container"> <header class="summary-block-header"> <div class="summary-heading" data-animation-role="content"> <span class="summary-header-text">Featured</span> </div> <div class="summary-carousel-pager sqs-gallery-controls" data-animation-role="content"> <span class="summary-carousel-pager-prev previous" tabindex="0" role="button" aria-label="Previous" ></span> <span class="summary-carousel-pager-next next" tabindex="0" role="button" aria-label="Next" ></span> </div> </header> <div class="summary-item-list sqs-gallery"> <div class=" summary-item summary-item-record-type-text sqs-gallery-design-list-slide summary-item-has-thumbnail summary-item-has-excerpt summary-item-has-author " > <div class="summary-thumbnail-outer-container"> <a href="/blog/the-questions-we-forget-to-ask-ourselves" class=" summary-thumbnail-container sqs-gallery-image-container " data-title="The Questions We Forget to Ask Ourselves" data-description="" > <div class="summary-thumbnail img-wrapper" data-animation-role="image"> <!-- Main Image --> <img data-src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/654fc246aba94f2bc8f1413e/1776695492395-7CFCML6ZG32IT0CBAJ7T/Article+Photo.png" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/654fc246aba94f2bc8f1413e/1776695492395-7CFCML6ZG32IT0CBAJ7T/Article+Photo.png" data-image-dimensions="1024x1024" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="The Questions We Forget to Ask Ourselves" data-load="false" class="summary-thumbnail-image" elementtiming="summary-thumbnail-image-list" /> </div> </a> <!-- Products: Quick View --> </div> <div class="summary-content sqs-gallery-meta-container" data-animation-role="content"> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--above-title"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-23">Apr 23, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> <div class="summary-title"> <a href="/blog/the-questions-we-forget-to-ask-ourselves" class="summary-title-link">The Questions We Forget to Ask Ourselves</a></div> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--below-title"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-23">Apr 23, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> <div class=" summary-excerpt summary-excerpt-only "><p style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">There's a difference between values and scripts. Values are yours and worth protecting. Scripts are inherited instructions about how to achieve those values, and they're worth questioning when they no longer fit your life.</p></div> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--below-content"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-23">Apr 23, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class=" summary-item summary-item-record-type-text sqs-gallery-design-list-slide summary-item-has-thumbnail summary-item-has-excerpt summary-item-has-author " > <div class="summary-thumbnail-outer-container"> <a href="/blog/when-giving-your-kids-opportunities-becomes-giving-yourself-pressure" class=" summary-thumbnail-container sqs-gallery-image-container " data-title="When Giving Your Kids Opportunities Becomes Giving Yourself Pressure" data-description="" > <div class="summary-thumbnail img-wrapper" data-animation-role="image"> <!-- Main Image --> <img data-src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/654fc246aba94f2bc8f1413e/1776093315346-V5M89MDPSOZLXLQT67IJ/Connor.jpg" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/654fc246aba94f2bc8f1413e/1776093315346-V5M89MDPSOZLXLQT67IJ/Connor.jpg" data-image-dimensions="590x443" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="When Giving Your Kids Opportunities Becomes Giving Yourself Pressure" data-load="false" class="summary-thumbnail-image" elementtiming="summary-thumbnail-image-list" /> </div> </a> <!-- Products: Quick View --> </div> <div class="summary-content sqs-gallery-meta-container" data-animation-role="content"> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--above-title"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-13">Apr 13, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> <div class="summary-title"> <a href="/blog/when-giving-your-kids-opportunities-becomes-giving-yourself-pressure" class="summary-title-link">When Giving Your Kids Opportunities Becomes Giving Yourself Pressure</a></div> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--below-title"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-13">Apr 13, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> <div class=" summary-excerpt summary-excerpt-only "><p style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">The opportunities we give our kids often become the pressure we put on ourselves. When we stop guessing what they want and start asking, everyone breathes a little easier.</p></div> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--below-content"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-13">Apr 13, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class=" summary-item summary-item-record-type-text sqs-gallery-design-list-slide summary-item-has-thumbnail summary-item-has-excerpt summary-item-has-author " > <div class="summary-thumbnail-outer-container"> <a href="/blog/can-we-really-do-that" class=" summary-thumbnail-container sqs-gallery-image-container " data-title="Can We Really Do That?" data-description="" > <div class="summary-thumbnail img-wrapper" data-animation-role="image"> <!-- Main Image --> <img data-src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/654fc246aba94f2bc8f1413e/1775487210047-5XJWH53OC6GBNJVPY66D/Article+Photo.png" data-image="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/654fc246aba94f2bc8f1413e/1775487210047-5XJWH53OC6GBNJVPY66D/Article+Photo.png" data-image-dimensions="1408x768" data-image-focal-point="0.5,0.5" alt="Can We Really Do That?" data-load="false" class="summary-thumbnail-image" elementtiming="summary-thumbnail-image-list" /> </div> </a> <!-- Products: Quick View --> </div> <div class="summary-content sqs-gallery-meta-container" data-animation-role="content"> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--above-title"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-06">Apr 6, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> <div class="summary-title"> <a href="/blog/can-we-really-do-that" class="summary-title-link">Can We Really Do That?</a></div> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--below-title"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-06">Apr 6, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> <div class=" summary-excerpt summary-excerpt-only "><p style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">Most families collapse into either saving everything (and being miserable) or spending everything (and being fragile). Real financial security requires holding both tension simultaneously: saving like a pessimist while investing like an optimist.</p></div> <div class="summary-metadata-container summary-metadata-container--below-content"> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--primary"> <!-- Timestamp --> <time class="summary-metadata-item summary-metadata-item--date" datetime="2026-04-06">Apr 6, 2026</time> </div> <div class="summary-metadata summary-metadata--secondary"> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div></div><div class="col sqs-col-5 span-5"><div class="sqs-block website-component-block sqs-block-website-component sqs-block-html html-block" data-block-css="["https://definitions.sqspcdn.com/website-component-definition/static-assets/website.components.html/ad3e90ad-1a7c-4c71-9e99-02bd4875790f_471/website.components.html.styles.css"]" data-block-scripts="["https://definitions.sqspcdn.com/website-component-definition/static-assets/website.components.html/ad3e90ad-1a7c-4c71-9e99-02bd4875790f_471/website.components.html.visitor.js"]" data-block-type="1337" data-definition-name="website.components.html" data-sqsp-block="text" data-website-component-id="a38a8c6c3b4f738b7eff" id="block-a38a8c6c3b4f738b7eff"><div class="sqs-block-content"><div class="sqs-text-block-container"> <div class="sqs-html-content" data-sqsp-text-block-content><h4 style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">1 Big Idea to Think About</h4><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">There's a difference between values and scripts. Values are yours and worth protecting. Scripts are inherited instructions about how to achieve those values, and they're worth questioning when they no longer fit your life.</p></li></ul><h4 style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">1 Way You Can Apply This</h4><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">Use the "says who?" test. When you feel strongly that something should be a certain way, ask yourself where that belief came from. If it's rooted in your actual values, trust it. If it's an inherited script, give yourself permission to write a different one.</p></li></ul><h4 style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">1 Question to Ask</h4><ul data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true">When I feel resistance to my kids' choices or to my own financial decisions, am I protecting a value that matters to me, or am I defending a script I never chose?</p></li></ul><h4 style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true"><strong>Resources Featured in This Episode:</strong></h4><p class="MsoNormal" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true"><a href="https://www.tammacapital.com/podcast/ep220-not-all-struggles-are-due-to-laziness">Not All Struggles Are Due to Laziness</a> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true"><a href="https://www.tammacapital.com/podcast/ep224-dr-jennifer-dragonette-why-your-goals-keep-failing">Why Your Goals Keep Failing</a> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="white-space:pre-wrap;" data-rte-preserve-empty="true"><a href="https://www.tammacapital.com/blog/why-just-waiting-is-holding-you-back-in-life-and-finance">Why "Just Waiting" Is Holding You Back in Life and Finance</a> </p></div> <style id="container-styles">#block-a38a8c6c3b4f738b7eff { --tweak-text-block-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; --tweak-text-block-radius: unset; --stroke-style: none;--stroke-thickness: 6px; } #block-a38a8c6c3b4f738b7eff .sqs-html-content { --tweak-text-block-padding: 6% 6% 6% 6%; --tweak-text-block-padding: initial; } #block-a38a8c6c3b4f738b7eff { mix-blend-mode: var(--tweak-text-block-blend ); } #block-a38a8c6c3b4f738b7eff { } </style> <style id="override-container-styles"> @media screen and (max-width: 767px) { #block-a38a8c6c3b4f738b7eff { } } @media screen and (max-width: 767px) { #block-a38a8c6c3b4f738b7eff .sqs-html-content { } } @media screen and (max-width: 767px) { }</style> <style class="transform-overrides-vars"> </style> </div> </div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div> <div class="blog-item-author-profile-wrapper" data-content-field="author"> <a href="/podcast?author=6568d8a4109e221f9097c768"> <span class="author-name">Paul Fenner</span> </a> </div> </div> <section class="blog-item-comments"> <div class="blog-item-comments-toggle-wrapper"> <div id="blogItemCommentsContent" class="blog-item-comments-content" data-content-field="comments"> </div> </div> </section> </div> </article> </div> </div> </div> </section> </article> <section id="itemPagination" class="item-pagination item-pagination--prev-next" data-collection-type="blog-side-by-side" > <a href="/podcast/ep234-paul-fenner-pessimism-sounds-smart-optimism-builds-wealth" class="item-pagination-link item-pagination-link--next"> <div class="pagination-title-wrapper"> <div class="visually-hidden">Next</div> <div class="item-pagination-prev-next">Next</div> <h2 class="item-pagination-title">Ep.234 – Pessimism Sounds Smart, Optimism Builds Wealth</h2> </div> <div class="item-pagination-icon icon icon--stroke"> <svg class="caret-right-icon--small" viewBox="0 0 9 16"> <polyline fill="none" stroke-miterlimit="10" points="1.6,1.2 6.5,7.9 1.6,14.7"/> </svg> </div> </a> </section> </main> <footer class="sections" id="footer-sections" data-footer-sections> <section data-test="page-section" data-section-theme="dark" class='page-section full-bleed-section layout-engine-section background-width--full-bleed section-height--custom content-width--wide horizontal-alignment--center vertical-alignment--middle dark' data-section-id="654fc246aba94f2bc8f14169" data-controller="SectionWrapperController" data-current-styles="{ "imageOverlayOpacity": 0.15, "backgroundWidth": "background-width--full-bleed", "sectionHeight": "section-height--custom", "customSectionHeight": 10, "horizontalAlignment": "horizontal-alignment--center", "verticalAlignment": "vertical-alignment--middle", "contentWidth": "content-width--wide", "customContentWidth": 50, "sectionTheme": "dark", "sectionAnimation": "none", "backgroundMode": "image" }" data-current-context="{ "video": { "playbackSpeed": 0.5, "filter": 1, "filterStrength": 0, "zoom": 0, "videoSourceProvider": "none" }, "backgroundImageId": null, "backgroundMediaEffect": { "type": "none" }, "divider": { "enabled": false }, "typeName": "blog-side-by-side" }" data-animation="none" data-fluid-engine-section style="min-height: 10vh;" data-sqsp-section="fluid-engine" > <div class="section-border" > <div class="section-background"> </div> </div> <div class='content-wrapper' style=' padding-top: calc(10vmax / 10); 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border: none; } </style> <nav class="sqs-svg-icon--list"> <a href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/paulfennercfp" target="_blank" class="sqs-svg-icon--wrapper linkedin-unauth" aria-label="LinkedIn" > <div> <svg class="sqs-svg-icon--social" viewBox="0 0 64 64"> <use class="sqs-use--icon" xlink:href="/universal/svg/social-accounts.svg#linkedin-unauth-icon"></use> <use class="sqs-use--mask" xlink:href="/universal/svg/social-accounts.svg#linkedin-unauth-mask"></use> </svg> </div> </a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqSJ5dv4xnw0y8OG2rr-wBQ/videos" target="_blank" class="sqs-svg-icon--wrapper youtube-unauth" aria-label="YouTube" > <div> <svg class="sqs-svg-icon--social" viewBox="0 0 64 64"> <use class="sqs-use--icon" xlink:href="/universal/svg/social-accounts.svg#youtube-unauth-icon"></use> <use class="sqs-use--mask" xlink:href="/universal/svg/social-accounts.svg#youtube-unauth-mask"></use> </svg> </div> </a> </nav> </div> </div> </div></div></div><div class="fe-block fe-block-yui_3_17_2_1_1701369877630_15198"><div class="sqs-block website-component-block sqs-block-website-component sqs-block-button button-block" data-block-css="["https://definitions.sqspcdn.com/website-component-definition/static-assets/website.components.button/94301ad5-cbb3-4d63-8b5b-972f9d3e6693_641/website.components.button.styles.css"]" data-block-scripts="["https://definitions.sqspcdn.com/website-component-definition/static-assets/website.components.button/94301ad5-cbb3-4d63-8b5b-972f9d3e6693_641/website.components.button.visitor.js"]" data-block-type="1337" data-definition-name="website.components.button" data-sqsp-block="button" data-website-component-id="yui_3_17_2_1_1701369877630_15198" id="block-yui_3_17_2_1_1701369877630_15198"><div class="sqs-block-content"> <div class="sqs-block-button-container sqs-button-block-container-system_desktop sqs-block-button-container--center sqs-stretched" data-animation-role="button" data-button-size="medium" data-button-type="primary" > <a href="/contact" class="sqs-block-button-element--medium sqs-button-element--primary sqs-block-button-element" data-sqsp-button target="_blank" > SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER </a> </div> <div class="sqs-block-button-container sqs-button-block-container-system_mobile sqs-block-button-container--center sqs-stretched" data-animation-role="button" data-button-size="medium" data-button-type="primary" > <a href="/contact" class="sqs-block-button-element--medium sqs-button-element--primary sqs-block-button-element" data-sqsp-button target="_blank" > SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER </a> </div> <style> #block-yui_3_17_2_1_1701369877630_15198 { --sqs-block-content-flex: 1; } #block-yui_3_17_2_1_1701369877630_15198 .sqs-button-block-container-system_desktop { display: flex; } #block-yui_3_17_2_1_1701369877630_15198 .sqs-button-block-container-system_mobile { display: none; } @media screen and (max-width: 767px) { #block-yui_3_17_2_1_1701369877630_15198 { --sqs-block-content-flex: 1; } #block-yui_3_17_2_1_1701369877630_15198 .sqs-button-block-container-system_mobile { display: flex; } #block-yui_3_17_2_1_1701369877630_15198 .sqs-button-block-container-system_desktop { display: none; } } </style> <style class="transform-overrides-vars"> </style></div></div></div><div class="fe-block fe-block-d8005d71a4ad7fd2b9f1"><div class="sqs-block website-component-block sqs-block-website-component sqs-block-html html-block" data-block-css="["https://definitions.sqspcdn.com/website-component-definition/static-assets/website.components.html/ad3e90ad-1a7c-4c71-9e99-02bd4875790f_471/website.components.html.styles.css"]" data-block-scripts="["https://definitions.sqspcdn.com/website-component-definition/static-assets/website.components.html/ad3e90ad-1a7c-4c71-9e99-02bd4875790f_471/website.components.html.visitor.js"]" data-block-type="1337" data-definition-name="website.components.html" data-sqsp-block="text" data-website-component-id="d8005d71a4ad7fd2b9f1" id="block-d8005d71a4ad7fd2b9f1"><div class="sqs-block-content"><div class="sqs-text-block-container"> <div class="sqs-html-content" data-sqsp-text-block-content><p class="sqsrte-small" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Contact</p><p class="sqsrte-small" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Email: <a href="mailto:pfenner@tammacapital.com">pfenner@tammacapital.com</a></p><p class="sqsrte-small" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Phone: (248) 290-9890</p><p class="sqsrte-small" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Address: 6054 Strawberry Cir, Commerce Charter Twp, MI 48382</p><p class="sqsrte-small" style="white-space:pre-wrap;">© 2023 TAMMA Capital, LLC. | Personalized Investing for Your Future</p></div> <style id="container-styles">#block-d8005d71a4ad7fd2b9f1 { --tweak-text-block-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; --tweak-text-block-radius: unset; } #block-d8005d71a4ad7fd2b9f1 .sqs-html-content { --tweak-text-block-padding: 6% 6% 6% 6%; --tweak-text-block-padding: initial; } .fe-block-d8005d71a4ad7fd2b9f1 { mix-blend-mode: var(--tweak-text-block-blend ); } .fe-block-d8005d71a4ad7fd2b9f1 { } </style> <style id="override-container-styles"> @media screen and (max-width: 767px) { #block-d8005d71a4ad7fd2b9f1 { } } @media screen and (max-width: 767px) { #block-d8005d71a4ad7fd2b9f1 .sqs-html-content { } } @media screen and (max-width: 767px) { }</style> <style class="transform-overrides-vars"> </style> </div> </div></div></div><div class="fe-block fe-block-dc7d0abe6d72615dafa0"><div class="sqs-block website-component-block sqs-block-website-component sqs-block-html html-block" data-block-css="["https://definitions.sqspcdn.com/website-component-definition/static-assets/website.components.html/ad3e90ad-1a7c-4c71-9e99-02bd4875790f_471/website.components.html.styles.css"]" data-block-scripts="["https://definitions.sqspcdn.com/website-component-definition/static-assets/website.components.html/ad3e90ad-1a7c-4c71-9e99-02bd4875790f_471/website.components.html.visitor.js"]" data-block-type="1337" data-definition-name="website.components.html" data-sqsp-block="text" data-website-component-id="dc7d0abe6d72615dafa0" id="block-dc7d0abe6d72615dafa0"><div class="sqs-block-content"><div class="sqs-text-block-container"> <div class="sqs-html-content" data-sqsp-text-block-content><p class="sqsrte-small" data-rte-preserve-empty="true" style="white-space:pre-wrap;"></p><p style="text-align:right;white-space:pre-wrap;" class="sqsrte-small" data-rte-preserve-empty="true"></p><p style="text-align:right;white-space:pre-wrap;" class="sqsrte-small"><a href="/s/TAMMA-Form-ADV-Part-2A_11-01-2017.pdf" target="_blank">ADV</a></p><p style="text-align:right;white-space:pre-wrap;" class="sqsrte-small"><a href="/privacy-policy" target="_blank">Privacy Policy</a></p><p style="text-align:right;white-space:pre-wrap;" class="sqsrte-small"><a href="/terms-of-service">Terms of Service</a></p></div> <style id="container-styles">#block-dc7d0abe6d72615dafa0 { --tweak-text-block-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; 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