Ep. 189 – Dr. Jennifer Dragonette – Building Bridges in Relationships: The Impact of ‘Yes And’ on Understanding
Have you ever had a well-meaning conversation with a spouse, friend, child, or co-worker that went sideways? What if we could help ourselves prepare for some of our most important conversations?
Our resident psychologist expert, Dr. Jen Dragonette, is back with us to explore the nuances of communication in relationships, particularly focusing on the importance of language and emotional dynamics. We cover the impact of phrases like 'yes, but' versus 'yes, and' and how these can shape interactions.
Our conversation emphasizes the need for preparation before difficult discussions, the use of interpersonal effectiveness skills like the DEAR MAN technique, and the significance of regular check-ins to foster connection. We also highlight the importance of reinforcing positive communication patterns and enjoying the journey of growth in relationships.
Please enjoy my conversation with Dr. Jennifer Dragonette
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES YOU MAY LIKE
1 Big Idea to Think About
One insightful takeaway from the episode is the importance of using "and" instead of "but" in conversations to validate emotions, as it allows for a more nuanced understanding and connection, especially in relationships, by acknowledging multiple truths and emotions simultaneously
1 Way You Can Apply This
To foster better communication and understanding within relationships, try having a "walk and talk" session—a dedicated time each week for open, honest discussions while engaging in a relaxing activity like walking. This practice encourages addressing concerns before they escalate, creating a space for appreciation and connection, ultimately strengthening your bond and enhancing emotional understanding.
1 Question to Ask
In my conversations with loved ones, have I been using 'but' in a way that could be unintentionally invalidating their feelings, and how can I practice shifting to 'and' to foster a more supportive dialogue?"
Key Moments From the Show
00:06 Reflect on past episode on support vs. control, listener responses.
01:17 Listener Stan shares experience with yes-but vs. yes-and.
03:56 Importance of deliberate language in relationships.
05:13 Avoid binary mentality, incorporating all emotions is vital.
09:05 Within couples, small communication issues escalate arguments.
13:16 Prepare for conversations with thorough, mindful approaches.
19:17 Dear Man skill from dialectical behavior therapy explained.
25:23 Regular check-ins and walk-and-talks strengthen relationships.
33:14 Encouragement to practice communication and understanding.
34:32 Appreciate listener feedback, its impact and importance.
Resources Featured in This Episode:
Ep.178 – Understanding Make Sureing: The Fine Line Between Support and Control
Breaking the Habit of "Make Sure-ing": How Letting Go Builds Trust and Confidence
Building Healthy Habits: Overcoming Fear and Anxiety Through Tiny Changes