Bucket List Items Don't Need To Be Big

I checked an item off my bucket list. And the thing I've learned about bucket lists is that they don't have to be big.

I think that's one of the problems with the bucket list idea. We assume it has to be something grand. A big trip, a milestone celebration, something you save for and plan for years. But what I discovered was that something so small could have such a meaningful impact.

Last year, Theresa and I went to see Barenaked Ladies. If you're not familiar, they were a Canadian band that had a string of hits back in the mid to late 90s. I started listening to them around 1996, my freshman year of undergrad. That's close to 30 years ago.

They tour all the time. They come to Metro Detroit regularly. And I've always wanted to go, but I've never been able to.

The closest I got was a couple of years ago when Theresa got us tickets for my birthday. Of course, it was the same weekend as a state swim meet for one of the girls. So we didn't go.

The day before the show, Theresa sprang for tickets. We were supposed to see Earth, Wind, and Fire, but when I found out BNL was playing, I knew that was it.

We ran into some of our neighbors at the venue. Actually, they're TAMMA families. We had a couple of beers, some dinner, and caught up.

When Barenaked Ladies came out and started playing, this is going to sound strange, but I started getting emotional.

Theresa could see it. She asked if I was glad to be there. And yes, I was really appreciative and thankful we decided to go, even with everything else we had going on.

Music Takes You Back

It took me back. That's the thing I love about music. It can take you back to a point in your life, whether it's a good or a low point. It brings back this rush of emotions. You hear a song and know exactly where you were the first time you heard it. Or one comes on the radio unexpectedly, comes up in shuffle mode on your phone, and it just takes you back.

Maybe it's because I've gotten older and more nostalgic. But it's awesome to feel something.

I had a conversation this week with one of my TAMMA families who retired. We talked about the emotion we feel about what we do and how I work with people. I've said it once, I'll say it a thousand more times. Financial planning is 20% financial and 80% emotions.

Being able to have these positive emotions, to feel something, is very powerful.

And it was worth the money. Worth paying almost 20 bucks for multiple beers. It was an awesome concert. Sharing that with somebody I love made it even more meaningful.

This Was Something Small

Here's what struck me. This wasn't the big anniversary trip Theresa and I are about to go on next week. This was just going to a concert.

Little adventures can add up to a big life.

I think about this when Madison and Mackenzie were swimming. We'd travel around metro Detroit, drive to the west side of Michigan for swim meets. I always told the girls I loved these little adventures, even when we had to get up at 6 AM and watch the sunrise from the van.

It's easy to think, oh my gosh, it's going to be a long day. It's going to be exhausting. It's easy to get down about it.

But then I remind myself and the girls that we won't have these opportunities or these adventures that much longer together. They'll change as they get older.

Having those little things to look forward to, to remind myself of, matters.

The Big One Might Not Happen

Don't just wait and kick the can down the road for the big one. Because maybe the big one doesn't happen.

These little ones can take place every day in typically ordinary experiences.

We tell ourselves we'll do the thing someday. When we have more time. When we have more money. When the kids are older. When work settles down. When we retire.

But someday is a place you never actually get to.

I've been wanting to see the band Barenaked Ladies for 30 years. Thirty years. I had opportunities. There were shows. There were tickets available. But it was always the wrong weekend, the wrong timing, or something else seemed more important.

I was reminded again, waiting for perfect makes you miss good.

The venue wasn't perfect. The seats weren't perfect. We were tired from the week. But none of that mattered once the music started.

What This Means For How We Think About Money

We spend a lot of time building financial plans. Running projections. Optimizing portfolios. Maximizing tax efficiency. All of that matters.

But the point of all that work isn't to have the most money. It's to have the life you actually want.

And sometimes the life you actually want costs less than you think.

I talk with families all the time who are waiting. Waiting to feel secure enough to take the trip. Waiting until the portfolio hits a certain number before they relax. Waiting until retirement to start living.

Meanwhile, their kids are growing up. Their parents are getting older. The window for certain experiences is closing.

They have enough money now. They had enough money five years ago. But they're still waiting for some imaginary finish line that keeps moving.

Money is a number. Enough is a story.

The concert cost a few hundred bucks. Tickets, parking, overpriced beer, dinner. Nothing that moves the needle on anyone's financial plan.

But it mattered more than the extra $500 sitting in a brokerage account would have mattered.

Little Adventures Add Up

When I think about the last 15 years with the kids, it's not the big vacations I remember most clearly. Those were great. But it's the Saturday morning drives to swim meets. The random weeknight dinners where someone said something funny. The small moments that felt ordinary at the time.

Those little adventures added up to something big.

The same is true with money. Small decisions compound. Not just financially, but emotionally.

Saying yes to the concert you've wanted to see for 30 years. Taking your spouse to dinner on a random Tuesday. Booking the weekend trip without overthinking it. These aren't irresponsible choices. They're the whole point.

I see families agonize over spending $200 on something they really want while they have $2 million in investments. The math makes no sense. But the emotions make perfect sense. We've been taught to optimize and maximize, never to waste.

But living isn't a waste.

This Week

Put one small thing on your bucket list. Something you could do this month, not someday.

Not a grand adventure. Not something that requires months of planning and saving. Just something small that would make you feel something.

A concert you've been meaning to see. A restaurant you've driven past a hundred times. A weekend trip to a place an hour away. A phone call with someone you miss.

Find music that moves you, that can motivate you, that can make you feel something, that can take you back.

Go on little adventures.

Because the big ones might not happen, but these little ones can happen every day.

Money is a number. Enough is a story. Make sure you're writing your own.